More Machine Than Man 2

So its been almost a year and I’m still waiting for my hip replacement, and to be honest I’m worried I will survive the operation, indeed I know all the reasons that it will go spectacular and my logical brain understands them, so thats why I sit here in the dark falling for my addiction of choice which doesn’t help me in any way for the above mentioned operation, yet here I am again, doing whats wrong for my physical and mental health, just thought I would mention this, incase anyone needs to know, or would like to know why some of us fail to cope, when life is about to be good.