Long road to the end……

Once again I sit here with only myself looking at the retarded world we live in and sigh………..
I have seen many things in my life, from the gorgeous view I witnessed at the top of tallest mountain in Tasmania, too the lowest emotions I suffered while saying goodbye to another friend when they passed on from this world.
Many people will look upon this and never understand, never see how hard it is to live knowing that a lot of your friends have died from disabilities that our current pharmaceutical companies still don’t care about trying to cure, they only see the profits available in keeping us alive long enough to earn that income.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. You are free: to Share — to copy, distribute and transmit the work to Remix — to adapt the work But Under the following conditions: Attribution — You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work). Noncommercial — You may not use this work for commercial purposes. Share Alike — If you alter, transform, or build upon this work, you may distribute the resulting work only under the same or similar license to this one.Many will never understand having been there when an amazing gorgeous friend questions “do I choose a surgery that may kill me, or possibly give me another 5-10 years life, or do I keep doing the rehab I know will keep me alive for another 3-6 years.”
Neither will many people look at a friend suffering from depression so intensely that they understand why they killed themselves days, months or years later.
And this is why I am trying to write these posts, for you see, not only am I suffering from a disability that is slowly killing me, but I am also currently surviving a depression that should of killed me years ago.
Thank you for reading, you don’t have to respond, just read and try to understand.

That day is fast approaching, the 10th of August again…

A long time ago I met a young man, he was nothing outstanding the day I met him, but I was to learn otherwise.
Many days and I should say months later this man introduced me to a world I had yet to learn existed, he showed me the true nature of console gaming, the understanding of what J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings was really about and Dungeons and Dragons tabletop gaming.

We became fast friends and destructive partners in all things creative and depressive, JJ showed me how to best play Mario Party, full of life and mostly drunk, he taught me how to paint miniatures with colour and life I had never imagined, he showed me a world of imagination through Dungeons and Dragons I never thought could exist, and he reminded me of my own hidden bisexual life that I kept to myself and my partners.
But most of all James Jafa Jowers showed me how to live, with excitement and love, with colour and humour, with the ability to forgive and forget the ugly past of our dark pasts, and most of all how to let others into my life again after I had lost so much before.
I will always love that strange little english man, the one who made me wake up from the darkness, the one who showed everyone around him that he was awesomesauce, and that he cared and loved you for who you were.
Thank you James Robert Jowers,
May I see you next time.